I apologize for how ive been acting as of late on my account, with some recent stuff I've been told im not to positive if im a good person, considering i feel how im constantly loosing friends in my life & have people to dislike me & flat out hate me, I've done or said things which i feel have hurt people in the long run & i believe people have been ghosting me, i feel people who wants to cut ties with me have the rights & if people think there the problem which i dont believe is the case im normally always the problem. Ive also had a past issue with trauma dumping my issues on others which would quickly get on others nerves or drain them very fast. The only thing i can keep doing is just continue therapy & councilling. If worse comes to worse there's always rehab, i have had my thoughts of suicide and still have a note lying around ( which ill make sure to throw away)admittedly i dont think ill ever go through with it, since i feel if i don't do it i would alarm people for nothing & it can be very toxic to do if i chicken out with something as serious as taking my life & the thought of it does scared me. That's all i had to say i hope i didn't upset anyone nor have them to worry about my well-being.