How everyone feels about online friendships, i heard from someone how its hard to create genuine friendships online, do agree with this or no?

I apologize for how ive been acting as of late on my account, with some recent stuff I've been told im not to positive if im a good person, considering i feel how im constantly loosing friends in my life & have people to dislike me & flat out hate me, I've done or said things which i feel have hurt people in the long run & i believe people have been ghosting me, i feel people who wants to cut ties with me have the rights & if people think there the problem which i dont believe is the case im normally always the problem. Ive also had a past issue with trauma dumping my issues on others which would quickly get on others nerves or drain them very fast. The only thing i can keep doing is just continue therapy & councilling. If worse comes to worse there's always rehab, i have had my thoughts of suicide and still have a note lying around ( which ill make sure to throw away)admittedly i dont think ill ever go through with it, since i feel if i don't do it i would alarm people for nothing & it can be very toxic to do if i chicken out with something as serious as taking my life & the thought of it does scared me. That's all i had to say i hope i didn't upset anyone nor have them to worry about my well-being.

In your guys opinion, what do you think love is?

Without going into details ive been really stressing & acting paranoid about stuff. I know im more than likely am overreacting or just blowing things out of proportions, but i normally cant relax or calm down unless i know things are ok & solved.

I haven't been doing the best. I blame no one but myself. I would appreciate if people could reach out.

Is it better to not talk about how i feel? Im feeling its becoming fruitless & others aren't caring about them, plus everytime i vent or reach out to others i just push people away, it might be a sign of me not being a good person & not being liked by anyone.

I hate being so emotionally driven & feeling more intense feelings compared to others, its a drain & i feel it can be a burden to others. This isn't me trying to used it as a excuse but i mainly blame my adhd for the way i handle small inconvenience.

I remember watching a live a few days ago & the streamer in question was thinking about going to different platforms to share his art, i recommended NG but he said his art will get stolen here, which is bullshit because ive never heard or experience anything like that, also he said this on tiktok, a app notorious for recycling the same garbage & stealing others videos or just clips.

I think im so dirty minded that i saw a small black thing on the curb & thought it was a little dildo, just to find out its a leg to a wrestler toy

Never let people know your crying or cried.